Ditto the Monster looks at the world of family friendly online games from a Fabricated American perspective


Captain Ditto and Crew battle the Sorcerer of the Winds in Pirate101!

The second key to the bandits cave is the Wind Talisman – and these things are totally the elemental keys from ‘The 5th Element’ – it’s pretty obvious.  This key is guarded by the Wind Sorcerer and his minions, so there are the required ‘breaking wind’ jokes…  They make it too easy.

This fight definitely goes better than the last, as we have learned some lessons after facing the first two sorcerers… There’s no time to relax though – there’s much more needed!

The Stones from 'Fifth Element'...

The Stones from ‘Fifth Element’…

Captain Ditto versus the Earth Sorcerer in Pirate101

Captain Ditto and his trustworthy crew head deeper into Bandit Cave, looking for the sigils that will unlock the final door and defeat the evil warlord guy…  The fight is quite a challenge and there were some losses along the way,  but Ditto’s crew is more than up to the task…  One down, two to go…

Captain Ditto is back in Mooshu, fighting in The Bandit’s Cave in Pirate101!

Captain Ditto and crew are back, sailing through Mooshu on the trail of General Tsao, so he can recover another part of Marco Pollo’s map!

To get to the General though, Ditto and crew have to defeat one of the local clan lords, held up in the mysterious Bandit’s Cave!   Ditto and crew face down a sorcerer and his minions to get through the gate, but there is much more to do before they face their final foe!

Captain Ditto and Crew Battle to Escape the Moomori Compound

Captain Ditto and his crew have ruined the Moomori wedding and embarrassed General Tsao, but now they need to get out of the compound, and the Moomori guards are REALLY angry…   Ditto and his crew must fight tooth and claw to make their escape!!

Captain Ditto and crew have fun ruining a wedding!

Still working on interrupting the wedding and embarrassing General Tsao, Captain Ditto and crew need to steal the wedding gift.  They defeated the first guards, but they weren’t guarding the real gift, they were guarding a decoy!!  Now Captain Ditto and crew head upstairs to defeat the REAL guards and steal the present!!
After stealing the present, they then have fun spraying graffiti all over the mansion – that’s really funny!  I’m sure they’ll be angry with all that graffiti!
Finally, Ditto steals a Cowbooki costume and ruins the entertainment!!  So funny – until we get in a big fight… I guess General Tsao wasn’t happy with our plans…

Captain Ditto infiltrates the Moomori Compound!

Captain Ditto uses his cunning and skill – oh, and that perfectly forged wedding invitation – to infiltrate the Moomori Compound!  Subodai leads them to the main chamber where they try to steal the wedding gift, but the team meets with some opposition!  It turns into a double-cross, but Captain Ditto and his crew are all over it!!  This mission is going to get interesting!  I wonder what the gift is?  Maybe it’s a juicer?  Ditto could really use a juicer…

Captain Ditto in Mooshu – Heading out to disrupt a wedding!

Captain Ditto, now a Level 43 Swashbuckler, is sailing through Mooshu working on getting a wedding invitation to ‘crash’ a wedding to humiliate General Tso and do some other important stuff…

Here, Ditto’s Yakooza contact Yuji sends Ditto to the Momori stronghold to disrupt the wedding – this should be interesting!

There’s a fight with Tengu Sorcerers too – Ditto and crew make short work of them!

Winners for Dittos’ ‘Five Years of Fun in The Spiral’ contest!!

I got SO MANY great entries in my ‘Five Years in The Spiral‘ contest, with peoples’ favorite Spiral memories – I loved them!  From daring boss fights to exciting PVP battles to people’s memories getting their first house or mount of ship, there were so many wonderful memories you shared!!  The thing that makes me happiest though, is that were were so many entries where people’s favorite memories were meeting people and making friends, that seems to be a common thread in so many of these stories and it’s really one of the things I like most about The Spiral, too!

It was hard to choose winners with some many great entries – you all make me work really hard with these contests!  Without further ado, here are the winners!

First Place Chosen by Ditto and Miss Narrator, winning Smugglers Arena housing item and 10,000 crowns!   Our winner is Caley RainbowStaff!

One day I was doing my pet training, and I realize that I got very few pet snacks left. Gosh, I don’t want to buy mega snack packs. So I asked my online friends (one initiate and two grandmasters) whether they would like to join me for doing Winterbane. And yes, they agreed (for the same reason, which is getting pet snacks). I teleported to my home, they teleported in, and off we went into my Winterbane.
After one complete run, one of my friends asked if we would like to do again. No problem, we are all for pet snacks after all! So we re-entered. And who knows, the temptation for more mega pet snacks ensues in yet another round of Winterbane. And another. And another. No one left or was delayed during the farming. My friends and I were Winterbane crusaders for that day! I remembered we spent almost two hours in there.

I think this truly represents the fun, excitement and joy of The Spiral. Fun – in that you won’t feel bored with your loyal friends around. Excitement – in that you will get mega pet snacks for free. And joy – in that you get to understand more about your friends while acquiring more loot and wealth from battles!

Second Place Winners – Randomly chosen.  Prizes are Armored Scorpion Mount and 5,000 Crowns! (more…)

Contest – Five Years of Fun in The Spiral!

Greetings and Salutations!  So, Ditto has been blogging about his adventures in The Spiral for over five whole years now!!  That’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?  Ditto has had five years of wizards and pirates and fun adventures,  and now it’s time to celebrate with an all new contest!!  Looking back at my time in The Spiral there are so many awesome memories, and I want you to share your favorite memories with me!  What’s the best thing you’ve done in The Spiral, what’s your favorite memory?  Is it a boss fight with friends?  Decorating your first house?  Finding a rare item?  An epic PVP battle?  Tell me what your favorite Spiral memory is – in either Wizard101 or Pirate 101 – and you might win an awesome prize!!

So what can you win?  I’ve got some great Pirate101 prizes!

Smuggler's Arena!

Smuggler’s Arena!


Captain Ditto joins forces with the Yakooza of Mooshu in Pirate101!

Finally back on the skyways, Captain Ditto and his trusty crew take a barrel to the secret hideout of the Yakooza of Mooshu.  So, how did Ditto’s ship and entire crew fit inside one bottle?  We don’t need to dwell on such mysteries…
To gain favor with the Yakooza, Captain Ditto must do them three favors, the first of which is to ‘rescue’ some gold from a corrupt government official…   Ditto also stops to hang out and see what he can do to help some of the folks in the local village too.

Captain Ditto versus GOLDFISH!!

Captain Ditto and crew are making their way through Mooshu and come across some harmless looking goldfish swimming in the skyway…  and things take a rapid turn for the worse!  These goldfish are FIERCE!!!

Captain Ditto is back, and made it to Mooshu!!!

I know it has been a little while since Ditto has been able to post gameplay videos, sorry about that…  Ditto’s mom and dad and other family have been around for the holidays, so I didn’t really have a way to make videos uninterrupted with so many Fabricated Americans (and people) around.  I’m back now, though, and after many months trekking through Cool Ranch, Ditto FINALLY recovered Captain Blood’s treasure, which was an impressive ship from Mooshu!  Now it appears that the mystery of Marco Pollo’s map deepens, however, and Captain Ditto and his stalwart crew take their newfound ship and sail to mysterious Mooshu to get more information from Egg Fu Yung!   Mmmmm, Egg Fu Yung…  and crab rangoons… and… oh, never mind, let’s just show the video.

Announcing the ‘Fansite Festival’!!! #Wizard101 #Pirate101

Ditto is very happy to announce that he is taking part in a wonderful, fun event this year, the ‘Fansite Festival‘, which is a great community event hosted by a whole bunch of Wizard101 and Pirate101 fanstites!  The festival isn’t for a while (It’s currently scheduled or April) but it’s never too early to start getting excited about a fun event with fans and friends!!

Ditto and Edgar

Ditto is telling Edgar all about the Fansite Festival!

Captain Ditto and Crew start the Tomb of De La Vegas in Pirate101

Once they got the key, Captain Ditto and crew headed back to the De La Vegas mausoleum on Boot Hill so Old Scratch could summon the spirit of Don Rafael!  Old Scratch needs some personal belongings of Don Rafael though, and that angers the restless dead!!
It was during the battle with said restless dead that my intrepid camera bear, Carl, informed me that we were running low on battery – and by ‘low’ he actually meant ‘out of battery’, so the battle cuts off…  we do eventually win, of course, and it’s a great battle, you’ll just have to take my word for it….

Captain Ditto searches for the De La Vega key! Pirate101

After defeating the Duck of Death, Captain Ditto and his trusty hoodoo master Old Scratch must commune with the spirit of the original El Toro… but the De La Vega crypt is locked, and they have no key.  They head back to see the current El Toro, Don Rodrigo, to see if he has the key, and of course he does not – the Frogerales have it on one of their ships!  So once again Captain Ditto and crew take to the skyways in fierce ship to ship combat until the key is recovered!!

Here it is – Ditto’s ‘Six Days of Whatever’ winner #6!!

Well, it has certainly been six days of ‘Whatever‘, plus kittens!  And here it is, the final completely random winner of the completely random prize of 5,000 crowns  – Wizard Grace, also known as Pirate Stubborn Isabele Stevensson!  Congratulations to all the winners – and here is your final kitten…



Captain Ditto faces The Duck of Death, Part 2!!

After defeating The Duck of Death at Boot Hill, Captain Ditto and crew take a rowboat over to his cursed ship and face him in one of the most intense battles Ditto and crew have yet faced!!  Fire, explosions, and deadly conflict test Captain Ditto and drive his crew to their very limits – but who will come out victorious??

Captain Ditto faces The Duck of Death – Part 1!!

Captain Ditto and crew arrive at Boot Hill and face down the dreaded Duck of Death and his fearsome minions!!  Carl the camera-bear kinda messed up a bit – he started the camera before I was ready, and then it stopped recording for some reason before the end and Carl didn’t notice…  kind of annoying, but I assure you, we DID win!!

Ditto’s ‘6 Days of Whatever’ Holiday Contest!!!

Here it is, Ditto’s amazing holiday contest, ‘Six Days of Whatever‘!  What is it?  It’s six days of totally random prize giveaways, Starting tomorrow, Monday, December 15th!




Captain Ditto versus ‘Old Bird Jenkins’ in Pirate101

This is it, the final battle in silver mine against ‘Old Bird Jenkins’!!  Apparently, Jenkins is the crazy old miner who has been training the blood bats to scare folks out of the silver mine!  Captain Ditto and crew need to do battle with crazy old Jenkins and his wacky trained bloodbats!!
Once again I have my favorite cheering section behind me, my good friend Boo….

Captain Ditto faces the Big Boss Bloodbat in the Pirate101 Silver Mines

Even deeper within the Silver Mines, Captain Ditto and Crew now face down even MORE bloodbats, including the Big Bad Boss Bloodbat!!   This boss has a nasty trick – he drains the life from his own minions to heal himself, so if you just keep attacking the boss, he basically takes out the minions for you!


And yes, Ditto has some help in this one – well, a cute cheering section at least…  Being pet during a boss fight is both distracting and kind of nice.

Captain Ditto versus even BIGGER Blood Bats in Pirate101

Captain Ditto and crew are still deep in the silver mines, and are still fighting the bloodbats!  This time the crew faces off against the ‘Stout Bloodbat’ – though I don’t think picking on his size will help the situation –  along with his terrible minions.

Captain Ditto in the Silver Mines Part 1 – Bloodbat Troubles!

Captain Ditto and Crew talk to Bat Masterson – who is a bat, which is awesome – and head deep into the Silver Mine to collect silver for the silver bullets.  Of course, to get the silver, he has to rid the mine of a nasty infestation of Blood Bats!

Captain Ditto Appeases the Totems and learns the secret of the Duck of Death!

After defeating Three Scars, Captain Ditto and Crew talk to Raven Eyes and learns that the Totem spirits are appeased and he has brought peace to the Bison people – cool!  He then talks to the Thunderbird totem and learns the secrets of his foe, the dreaded Duck of Death!!