Ditto the Monster looks at the world of family friendly online games from a Fabricated American perspective

Episode 26

The Daring Adventures of Ditto, Episode 26

(Intro Music – Duel of the Fates)
Miss Narrator:  Welcome once again to another Daring Adventures of Ditto

Ditto:  Whoah, what with dat new intro music, is that for DragonSpyre?  It sounds more like…

Miss Narrator:  It is… because you aren’t going to DragonSpyre yet..

Ditto:  No?

Miss Narrator:  No.

Ditto:  How come?

Miss Narrator:  Because

Ditto:  Because why?

Miss Narrator:  I’m getting to that if you’ll give me a minute..   What are you, six?

Ditto:  Almost!

Miss Narrator:  Ugh – monsters…  Anyway, after their success in Mooshu, Ditto and Madame Jasmine headed back to see Headmaster Ambrose at Ravenwood School.

Ditto:  Me hoping we get a lot of extra credit for this whole ‘saving the world’ thing…

Miss Narrator:  Headmaster Ambrose looks very disturbed by the news Ditto has brought him, and knows that with access to DragonSpyre, Malistaire has access to lots of bad things, like dark, terrible magics, and high fructose corn syrup.

Ditto:  Yikes – he really IS evil!!

Miss Narrator:  Very.  He is also one of the most powerful wizards in the spiral, second only to headmaster Ambrose.  Ditto will need some lessons on how to defeat such a powerful adversary.

Ditto:  Well, me was thinking maybe Headmaster Ambrose could, you know, take this part?  Maybe I could just travel around the spiral with a couple friends, looking for certain mystical artifacts that could help bring about Malistaire’s ultimate downfall?

Miss Narrator:  Oh, so you already know about the onyx chests?

Ditto:  The what?

Miss Narrator:  Never mind, you’ll find out soon enough.  No, Headmaster Ambrose has critical Ravenwood duties he must attend to, and ‘The Voice’ comes on at 9.  Fear not, though, because he has arranged extra lessons with an expert, to aid Ditto on his epic and noble quest.

Ditto:  A Malistaire expert?  Who that?

Miss Narrator:  The tall, slender form of Professor Snape – oops, I meant Drake – glides into the room, his eyes full of malice.

Ditto:  I thought he was supposed to be on my side!

Miss Narrator:  He is – you can tell by the way he’s not yelling at you or making bats throw up on you…

Ditto:  But he’s glaring like that, and he just seems so…

Miss Narrator:  Oh he’s always like that, I think it’s too much fiber…

Ditto:  Oh yeah, dat can happen.  So what he going to teach me.

Miss Narrator:  Without a word, Professor Drake draws his wand and blasts ditto with a myth spell, knocking him back and momentarily stunning him.

Ditto:  He did what??  Whoah now, That’s not standard curriculum!  I thought he was here to teach me!

Miss Narrator:  He is… kind of.

Ditto:  Kind of like teaching you to swim by tossing you off the boat…

Miss Narrator:  Ditto and Professor Drake circle one another, casting shields and traps at one another, Ditto using every ounce of his skill to fend off the professor’s attacks, deflecting and blocking the worst of the myth spells.

Ditto:  That troll spell is so last year…

Miss Narrator:  Ditto is able to stack several traps against Professor Drake in between dodging myth spells, with Madame Jasmine adding her own blade spells to the mix.

Madame Jasmine: Bwaak!!

Ditto:  Let’s see how he likes this one…

Miss Narrator:  And Professor Drake openly chuckles and shakes his head as Ditto fizzles.

Ditto:  That’s no fair…

Miss Narrator:  Professor Drake waves his wand and an enormous hulking frog appears, it’s mouth opening wide as it…

Ditto:  Oh that is DISGUSTING!  I can’t believe he just barfed on me!  Do you have any idea how hard that is to get out of my fur??  Oh now I’m mad…

Miss Narrator:  Ditto waves his wand and shouts another spell, and familiar rings of flame appear between Ditto and his opponent as the mighty helephant is summoned.  It hits professor drake with full force, triggering a cascade of blades and traps that multiply the power of the attack.

Ditto:  Oh yeah!  Take that, professor!  And please don’t give me detention…

Miss Narrator:  Professor Drake takes a step back and dusts off his robe, then hits Ditto with a rapid succession of damage spells, one after the other, sending Ditto back against the wall…..

Ditto:  Ow ow ow…   OK, Had enough then?

Miss Narrator:  Professor Drake yawns and looks down at Ditto with a disdain.  He shakes his head and tells Ditto if that’s the best he can manage, it will just have to do.

Ditto:  But, but… I did great…

Miss Narrator:  Eh.  It was OK.

Madame Jasmine:  Bwaak!

Ditto:  What, you too?  I thought it was a good duel!  Me definitely ready for Dragonspyre!

Miss Narrator:  Professor Drake tells Ditto that DragonSpyre will push his powers beyond their limits, and facing his brother Malistaire will be like nothing Ditto has ever imagined.

Ditto:  Sounds…. OK, me terrified again.  Me seem to be terrified a lot lately.

Miss Narrator:  There’s always gardening…

Ditto:  No, that tend to be scary too…

Miss Narrator:  Then you’re just going to have LOTS of fun in Dragonspyre…  I’m sure!

Ditto:  It can’t be all dat bad…

Miss Narrator: Professor Drake finally tells you that, though you’ll probably be eaten by a dragon or covered in molten lava or have one of a hundred other nasty things happen to you, you are as ready as you’ll ever be to enter DragonSpyre and face Malistaire.

Ditto:  You know, if he so tough, I’m wondering if there might be someone better qualified?  Maybe, you know, his brother or something?

Miss Narrator:  Oh yeah, that’s going to happen.

Ditto:  Oh come on, it’s a good idea, and Professor Drake way better at this than me…

Miss Narrator:  Obviously, yes, but how awkward would it be during the holidays if Professor Drake defeated Malistaire and foiled his evil scheme?

Ditto:  I guess that WOULD make thanksgiving uncomfortable, sure… But hey, wait a minute..

Miss Narrator:  So that settles it – Ditto and Madame Jasmine are off to face their destiny!

Ditto:  No, she’s still in Wizard City – she sent me a letter the other day…  I can’t believe she hasn’t gotten a new wand yet…

Miss Narrator:  Not THAT Destiny… oh never mind.  Join us again next time for another thrilling episode of The Daring Adventures of Ditto!  Next stop – Dragonspyre!

Ditto:  Oh yes, dis will go well…

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