Ditto the Monster looks at the world of family friendly online games from a Fabricated American perspective

Episode 5

Daring Adventures of Ditto, Episode 5

The Daring Adventures of Ditto, Episode 5 as originally heard on Ravenwood Radio Episode 19

Narrator: Welcome once again to the Daring Adventures of Ditto!

Ditto: Hey, I thought….

Narrator: Nope – still me. You paid in advance…

Ditto: Oh yeah, dats right…

Narrator: So today on The Daring Adventures of Ditto we find our hero deep in the forests of Grizzleheim…

Ditto: Hey she got it right.. So are we watching some bear guy eat a handful of berries?

Narrator: (in a serious, dramatic voice) So Once Egil Axebearer finished his deep woods berry smoothie, he looks at you gravely and explains that he is not the one you seek, that you must travel deeper into the roughlands and seek out one of the wisest of the Mystics, Hugin Fateseer…

Ditto: Whoa, what with day spooky voice??

Narrator: As the shadows of the forest deepen and become more menacing, you find a clearing within an ancient circle of stones. Within that circle you find Hugin, a dark, stooped fellow shrouded in a heavy cloak, leaning heavily on a twisted wooden staff.

Ditto: Seriously? That sounds really freaky… I’m kind of scared really.

Narrator: Hugin looks up from the blue-tinged fire and stares at you with dark eyes. As he looks at you he tells you of an epic quest that will take you to the very limits of your endurance and test your skills like nothing you have ever encountered.

Ditto: Is dis going to be harder than picking berries? Because I’m not really into the berry picking….

Narrator: First, you must work your way deep into the darkest part of the forest to pick Mandrake roots.

Ditto: Oh so not berries, roots… not really much of a difference I think….. huh… So Me and Madame Jasmine walk deeper into the woods – I think these woods must be really deep because we just keep walking deeper in them you know… So we walk deeper into the woods looking for the Mandrake plants and…

Narrator: And your are surrounded on all sides by bloodthirsty savage Shattertusks!

Ditto: Agh! What a shattertusk?

Narrator: You know what a savage wild boar is?

Ditto: Yeah Me do.

Narrator: It’s like that but bigger and carrying a spear.

Ditto: Yikes!! What me do?

Narrator: Ditto and Madame Jasmin dig in and begin to conjure up a firey tempest, with heat and flame driving the savage warriors back! Sunbirds fill the air as Ditto draws into his mana reserves and the evil shattertusks drop back, cowering in fear as Madame Jasmine bellows a mighty roar

Madame Jasmine: Bwaak

Narrator: I said roar…

Madame Jasmine: Big Roar

Narrator: That’s more like it!

Ditto: Where dat come from???? Wow – dat was intense. So once the savages are defeated we find the mandrakes, which were crazy creepy plants dat tried to bite me when I picked them… definitely not like picking de berries!

Narrator: Once Ditto returned to Hugin Fateseer with the mandrake, still shaken from the battle with the splintertusks, the wizend sage drops the roots into a bubbling cauldron and it shoots red-orange sparks into the damp forest air. He stares into the swirling smoke for a long time before he looks up and speaks again.

Ditto: So, was dat it? Was the mandrake all you needed, because I…

Narrator: Hugin tells you that Next, you must do battle with hideous, winged forest demons called Frithir that inhabit these forest depths. You must battle these foes and to collect a grisly trophy – their wings!

Ditto: What??? I got to do what? Me just a little student wizard, dis sounds really scary! Me not know if I want to…

NArrator: So tune in next week as Ditto and Madame Jasmine trek yet deeper into the forest to hunt the dreaded frithir on the next step on the epic quest of Hugin Fateseer!

Ditto: This is the last one, right? The last part of de quest? Me hope there is no more to it than this…

Narrator: Oh this is just the beginning.. just you wait (evil laugh)

Madame Jasmine: Bwaaak!

Ditto: Can me go back to collecting berries? Ditto need a smoothie…

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