Ditto the Monster looks at the world of family friendly online games from a Fabricated American perspective

Episode 13

The Daring Adventures of Ditto, Episode 13

The Daring Adventures of Ditto – Episode 13 as originally heard on Ravenwood Radio Episode 28

Narrator: Welcome once again to another exciting episode of The Daring Aventures of Ditto

Ditto: Hi there!

Narrator: When last we met, Ditto had narrowly defeated the great Gearhead Destroyer by setting himself on fire.

Ditto: Hey now, that’s not really… well, yeah, that’s actually pretty accurrate.

Narrator: Sadly, Baxter – the goal of the whole fight – was dragged away by clanking steampunk minions of evil, once again leaving our dynamic duo empty handed.

Ditto: Oh go ahead, rub it in. You know I’m still singed in places here…

Narrator: Big Baby

Ditto: But, my fur, and…

Narrator: Armed with vital information, Ditto and Madame Jasmine head back to Sherlock Bones to give him the news about the gearheads and Baxter…

Ditto: Yeah, many bothans died to bring us this information!

Narrator: Huh?

Ditto: NEver mind.

Narrator: As Ditto and MAdame Jasmine approach Digmore station, they notice that its… quiet. Too quiet. Sherlock Bones, as well as every other person normally inhabiting the bustling airship station, are nowhere to be found. The station is completely deserted.

Ditto: Zombies!!!

Narrator: Um, no, I’m sure it’s not zombies, but it is strange being so deserted. You had better go and investigate.

Ditto: Investigate? Me?

NArrator: Well yes – it IS your daring adventure after all.

Ditto: Me not need to investigate – it’s zombies, definitely zombies. We go back to grizzleheim now.

Narrator: It is NOT zombies, I promise. I don’t know what you’re so afraid of here…

Ditto: What I’m afraid of? ZOMBIES! – they shamble around and moan and eat you BRAINS!

Narrator: And I say again – I’m not sure what you’re afraid of there. Would you get down to Regents Square and see what’s going on?

Ditto: If I get turned into a zombie I’m totally going to bite you first.

Narrator: I’m a diembodied voice, I’ll take my chances.

Ditto: So down the big elevator to regents square. (hum ‘girl form ipanima)

Narrator: What ARE you humming?

Ditto: Me not know but it’s kinda catchy. Makes me want to get my teeth cleaned.

Narrator: Like Digmore station, Ditto finds Regents’ sqaure completely deserted. Normally heavily populated and bustling with activity, the only thing moving now are the newspapers that are blowing about in the breeze. The streets are shrouded in an eerie silence.

Ditto: See, I knew it, I knew it was zombies, I told you it was zombies but di you listen? Oh no, you couldn’t listen, and now I’m going to be eaten by a zombie!!

Narrator: You are not going to be eaten by a zombie Ditto – there’s nobody here, no zombies.

Ditto: No zombies, you’re sure?

Narrator: Well, unless they are invisible zombies…

Ditto: Aaaarrhhhh!!!!

Narrator: But I’m sure there are no invisible zombies either, pull yourself together! We’ll need to keep our heads to solve this mystery

Ditto: I think we also need a hippie, a great dane, and a cool van if we’re going to solve this mystery…

Narrator: Well I’ll give you and Jasmine each a scooby snack if you head across town to Scotland Yard and see if anyone there can help.

Madame Jasmine: Bwaak!

Ditto: Big chicken.

Narrator: So Ditto and Madame Jasmine, excited by the promise of yummy scooby snacks, head across the eerily empty town to the imposing edifice of Scotland Yard. The enter through the great wooden doors into a deserted waiting area – deserted except for one person…

Ditto: Oh, there’s a person here – who is it. Hello, are you a zombie??

NArrator: The person sits behind locked bars in the holding cell, his stark white face looking forlorn.

Ditto: Hello – um, we need to ask you if you’re a zombie. Please don’t eat my brain…

Miss narrator: The main in the cell smiles, then makes a series of gestures towards Ditto.

Ditto: Um, me not understand. Why you waving at me? And what that mean when you wiggle your fingers like that?

Miss NArrator: As he tries to communicate, he gets more and more frustrated as Ditto fails to understand what he’s saying.

Ditto: But he’s not saying anything, he’s just standing there and moving his arms like… Oh no, he IS a zombie!! Meteor Strike, Meteor strike!!

Miss NArrator: What? Are you serious?

Ditto: He’s a zombie, look at him! Meteor Strike!

Miss Narrator: Oh boy…. So after the smoke clears Ditto and MAdame Jasmine are surprised to see a small crowd beginning to gather.

Ditto: Oh boy… Hey everybody, I, um… I saved you all from the zombie?

Miss NArrator: The crowd all seem to be familiar faces from MArleybone, yet they are all wearing similar clothing, seeming to be printed t-shirts of some unusual design, in shades of blue and touquoise and purple. They all seem to say the same thing – “I discovered a new undersea realm and all I got was this silly t-Shirt’

Ditto: What’s this now?

Miss NArrator: Apparently instead of a Zombie invaion, Marleybone was in the throes of ‘Celestia Fever’ as a new mystical realm of wonder was opened to the public. The entire population of MArleybone went sightseeing, it was quite a big deal.

Ditto: And the Zombie?

Miss NArrator: Ditto DID manage to handily defeat the famed Marleybonian mime, MArcel Meyow, who had been locked up in a case of mistaken identity.

Ditto: Oh, dat is definitely not good

Narrator: The good news is that with a little luck, most of his fur should grow back in a few months

Ditto: He looked like a zombie, it not entirely my fault here…

Narrator: Oh Ditto… a mime is a terrible thing to waste.

Ditto: Ouch…

Narrator: Join us again next time for another exciting episode of The Daring Adventures of Ditto

Ditto: Sorry about dat Marcel…

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