Ditto the Monster looks at the world of family friendly online games from a Fabricated American perspective

Episode 24

The Daring Adventures of Ditto, Episode 24

Miss Narrator:  Welcome once again to the Daring Adventures of Ditto

Ditto:  Can I go back to gardening now?

Miss Narrator:  When last we left our intrepid adventurer, he and Madame Jasmine had just defeated the dreaded Death Oni at the Tree of Life

Ditto:  Yeah, me want to go back to gardening after that.  Those snap dragons not nearly so scary.

Miss Narrator:  As Ditto and Madame Jasmine are making their way back to the great Jade Palace, Ditto gets a message from Professor Falmea, who wants to see him back at Ravenwood school at once.

Ditto:  Oh no – Me didn’t do my homework…

Miss Narrator:  Well, what did you have to do?

Ditto:  for history class I need to finish a report on the great Chicago fire, for music class I need to learn ‘come on baby light my fire’, and for cooking class I need to finish my flambe’ recipie…

Miss Narrator:  I’m sensing a theme here…  anything else?

Ditto:  Oh yeah – for math class I need to do some long division homework.

Miss Narrator:  Yup, definitely a theme – and the theme is you really need to do your homework!

Ditto:  Yeah me know.

Miss Narrator:  Once Ditto gets back to Ravenwood, Professor Falmea chastises him for neglecting his homework…

Ditto:  Aw

Miss Narrator:  And then gives him a huge, thick spellbook with a worn leather cover.

Ditto:  What that?  A Mooshu phone book?

Miss Narrator:  This, professor Falmea says, is your next spell.

Ditto:  So, I drop a huge heavy book on my opponent?  that would do some decent damage…

MissNarrator:  Professor Falmea rolls her eyes and threatens to set Ditto’s fur on fire…

Ditto:  Kidding, kidding!

Miss Narrator:  Professor Falmea explains that the next spell will be the most difficult – and most powerful – spell Ditto has ever learned, and that if done wrong, it could have dire consequences.

Ditto:  But the book is really big….

Miss Narrator:  Ditto is set to his studies, a task that would take him –

Ditto:  Finished!

Miss Narrator:  Finished?  You couldn’t even read through the back cover of the book that fast, how did you…?

Ditto:  Um, Just a fast reader, dat all…

Miss Narrator:  You read the WHOLE thing?

Ditto:  Yeah, yeah, definitely…  skimmed it anyway…

Miss Narrator:  You do know that you’ll need that spell to finish your next daring adventure, right?  Like, you’ll definitely be defeated if you don’t know it…

Ditto:  Oh yeah, sure, I know it’s…. Well, I’m pretty sure I…  Well it’s definitely…  OK, Me go read it now….

Miss Narrator:  That’s what I thought.

(Play Jepoardy theme)

Ditto:  Wow that’s a big spell….

Miss Narrator:  Professor Falmea looks over Dittos’ work, brushes a unch of cookie crumbs off of it, and rolls her eyes.

Ditto:  Hey, I eat when I’m studying…

Miss Narrator:  You eat when you’re breathing…  Anyway, Professor Falmea finishes looking over Ditto’s work and nods her head, giving him a C

Ditto:  A C??

Miss Narrator:  Minus.

Ditto:  Aw… Well, OK, dat’s probably fair…

Miss Narrator:  New spell in hand, Ditto heads through the spiral door and back to the lush green fields and bamboo-lined streets of Mooshu, he and Madame Jasmine headed to the Imperial Palace to rescue the Emperor.

Ditto:  Oh boy, Here we go…

Miss Narrator:  Ditto is handed a glowing vial of healing waters and heads up the marble stairs to the throne room.  The doors swing open and the emperor lays there, appearing asleep.  Ditto and Madame Jasmine walk quietly up to the bed, holding the glowing water.

Ditto:  So what me do, just splash him with it or….

MissNarrator:  The emperor lets out a long gasp and a cloud of emerald green smoke leaves him, coalescing into a huge jade green demon in the middle of the throne room.  the Jade Oni bellows a deafening roar.

Jade Oni:  “Fool! Did you think I would give up this shell so easily? I am not like the other Oni. You have woken me only to make me stronger! This land is mine!”

Ditto:  Oh dis is not going to be good.  We’re totally going to end it here, aren’t we?

Miss Narrator:  Join us again next time for even more Daring Adventures of Ditto!

Ditto:  I knew it.  I just knew it….  And he is REALLY mad, I can tell….

Miss Narrator:  Well, you DID wake him up…

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