Ditto the Monster looks at the world of family friendly online games from a Fabricated American perspective

Episode 1

The Daring Adventures of Ditto – Episode 1

The Daring Adventures of Ditto – Episode 1 As heard on Ravenwood Radio Episode 15

Good evening fellow students and welcome to the first episode of ‘The Daring Adventures of Ditto’! Each episode will bring you new daring adventures in The Spiral with me, Ditto, and my trusty and ferocious CrimsonZilla Madame Jasmine. In this first episode, Madame Jasmine and me have discovered the ancient and mysterious Krokotopia, and will be exploring it’s dusty tombs and catacombs!

Narrator Voice: When we last saw our intrepid explorers-

Ditto: Um, we just tell them this is the first episode so….

Narrator Voice: they were just moments away from a grizzly death in the bowels of Wizard City! How ever would they escape?!?

Ditto: We were what?? Oh, nevermind….

Narrator Voice: Just a mere instant from death, Ditto summed up all his dark magical powers and tore open a door through the fabric of space and time itself –

Ditto: Um, me just showed the headmasters spiral key to Bartleby and –

Narrator Voice: landing in the sun-drenched desert of the terrifying Krokotopia, his fearsome sidekick Madame Jasmine landing heavily by his side.

Madame Jasmine: Bwak!

Ditto: Um, Madame Jasmine, we talk about this all the time. You supposed to be fearsome crimson zilla, terrible fire dinosaur. The chicken clucking not really so scary…. not really striking fear into the hearts of, well anything.

Madame Jasmine: Bwak Bwaak

Narrator Voice: Pulling themselves together, Ditto and Madame Jasmine get their bearings through the blazing sun and stinging sandstorms, for the first time seeing the fearsome architecture of this desolate place.

Ditto: Hey mister narrator, this place actually kind of nice… there a nice oasis and some very friendly people – um, er, dogs – from Marleybone, plus the very kind Manders… We were just –

Narrator Voice: Suddenly and without warning, a gang of angry Manders, their fangs dripping with a deadly venom, surround Ditto and Madame Jasmine, furious that these outsiders have dared desecrate their sacred lands!

Ditto: Manders no have venomous fangs!! Me don’t even think they have teeth! They weren’t mad, they were….

Narrator Voice: With only seconds to react, Ditto raised his wand and chanted the ancient and forbidden incantations to summon the brutal Fire Cat to ward off his would-be attackers

Ditto: Ancient and forbidden? me learn fire cat on my first day at school! It not even very good spell… Me not use that since I get sunbird…

Narrator Voice: And with the spell, Madame Jasmine reared up and bellowed a might roar

Madame Jasmine: Bwak!

Ditto: Oh brother…

Narrator Voice: Confronted with such a terrifying display of magic and ferocious agression, the bloodthirsty Manders scattered in terror, crying out with fear before Ditto and Madame Jasmine’s show of dark arcane power!

Madame Jasmine: Bwak awwk!

Ditto: Dis not going very well… (wait a beat) Oh, me turn to tell the story now? Ok good. So Ditto and Madame Jasmine are exploring the Grand Oasis and find Seargant Major Talbot, from Marleybone, who is in charge of the dig site. He has us talk to a local Mander named Hetch Al’Dim, a very nice fellow who seems very happy to see us. The two spin a tale of sadness and woe, and as me suspected, it was all brought about by me arch-nemesis, Malistaire!

Narrator Voice: Yes, the dreaded Malistaire, dark sorcerer extraordinaire, destroyer of worlds, curse of the Spiral, the most-

Ditto: OK cut it out now you freaking me out… Stupid Narrator…

Narrator Voice: I heard that.

Ditto: Anyway, It seemed like Malistaire had been searching for an ancient and terrible artifact so powerful it was hidden by the very sands of time! Oh wait now me doing it… So me had to go find an archaeologist, Professor Winthrop, Who was inside the great Pyramid of the Sun, in the Altar of Kings. Madame Jasmine and I cautiously moved forward, through the sun-baked courtyard and up the immense stone steps, then passed into the Great Pyramid and into the long lost Altar of the Kings where…

Narrator Voice: Where without warning, an ancient booby-trap was sprung, trapping our intrepid duo in an inescapable death trap, with hot desert sands pouring in from above and a great stone slab from the floor being rolled back to reveal a deep pit full of deadly sand scorpions below!!

Ditto: What is you talking about? Professor Winthrop is right over…

Narrator Voice: Still weak from his previous encounters and the massive expense of mana used in his last near-death escape, Ditto seems helpless to escape from this brilliantly crafted ancient deathtrap. As he gasps for breath, realizing each could be his last, he realizes he has only one chance, one glimmer of hope to survive! He raises his wand and summons every last ounce of his will, his very soul feeling the dark magnitude of forbidden magics he calls to his aid.

Ditto: Huh?? But me just walked across the…

Narrator Voice: Will he save himself and Madame Jasmine? Will he make it to professor Winthrop in time? Will Ditto be able to defeat the evil Malistaire and save the Krokonomicon? Tune in next time for the next thrilling chapter of ‘The Daring Adventures of Ditto’!!!

Ditto: What, that’s it? Does’t seem like we got very far today… Me going to fire that narrator.

Madame Jasmine: Bwaak awk

Ditto: Oh be quiet Jasmine. Can’t you at least TRY to be scary and intimidating?

5 responses

  1. Wolf LegendRider

    LOL this is funny. nice stories you make.

    April 1, 2011 at 4:00 am

  2. hey, is it possible for my wizard to meet your wizard? That would be cool! I go on almost everyday from 5:00pm-2:00am
    Thanks ditto 🙂

    April 7, 2011 at 7:08 am

  3. LOL that episode was so funny!

    April 7, 2011 at 7:13 am

  4. jesus

    that was a great adventure on wizard101 ditto:-)

    June 21, 2011 at 5:33 pm

  5. Jesse Mistgem


    August 17, 2012 at 1:37 pm

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