Ditto the Monster looks at the world of family friendly online games from a Fabricated American perspective

Episode 25

The Daring Adventures of Ditto, Episode 25 – One Year Anniversary!

Miss Narrator:  Welcome to a very special event – the one year anniversary of ‘The Daring Adventures of Ditto’!!

Ditto:  Is it really one year?  Seriously?

Miss Narrator:  Sure – Well, it’s close enough for government work anyway…

Ditto:  Wow – a year of Daring Adventures.  That’s amazing, I can’t believe we made it this far!

Miss Narrator:  You’re telling me – I was thinking this would be six weeks, tops, then you’d move on to something different, like cat herding or basket weaving….

Ditto:  Dat’s harder than it looks, actually…  Anyway, after a year people still seem to enjoy us, too, so that’s a good thing!

Miss Narrator:  Yes, it’s wonderful, and lots of fun!

Ditto:  So, we’ll do some sort of great retrospective, look at clips and highlights from the previous episodes, have snacks….

Miss Narrator:  Sure, we could have S’mores and talk about our feelings…  but aren’t you forgetting something?

Ditto:  Forgetting something?  Me don’t think me forgetting anything…

Jade Oni:  You will fall before me, wizard!  My power cannot be overcome by your puny spells and inconsequential magics….

Ditto:  Oh yeah, now me remember what me forgot.  Me forgot being completely terrified…. Gah!

Miss Narrator:  Yes, the feared Jade Oni bellows in rage, eyes glowing emerald green menace…

Ditto:  Wouldn’t that be Jade green… you know, because he’s the Jade Oni?

Miss Narrator:  Yes, because when faced with an evil, fifteen foot tall, sword-wielding demon, the first thing you want to do is quibble over the color of his glowing eyes… good plan.

Ditto:  Well, I’m just saying…

Miss Narrator:  And the Jade Oni swings his massive sword, enfolding Ditto and Madame Jasmine in the shimmering green energy of a life trap, boosting the power of the Oni’s attacks even further!  Ditto falls back, grasping the amulet around his neck, and an icy tower shield springs up around him, a flickering boundary providing some protection from the assault of the massive Jade Oni.

Ditto:  Yikes! You could have warned me!  Fire Blade!  Fire Trap!

Miss Narrator:  The Jade Oni lets out a deep, malevolent laugh and glares at Ditto, seemingly unphased by the flaming orange energy surrounding him.

Ditto:  Dis going to hurt, but….

Miss Narrator:  Ditto waves his staff in the air and a thread of deep black energy spirals around the Jade Oni, but also surrounds Ditto himself, greatly enhancing the damage done to the Oni, but weakening his own defences at the same time.  The Jade Oni bellows louder, swinging his massive sword and shattering Ditto’s tower shield, knocking him back and taking a good chunk of his health.

Ditto:  Ow…  Dis really not working.

Madame Jasmin:  Bwaak….

Ditto:  Dat’s so crazy, it just might work…  But me never try dat spell yet, me not sure me can do it.

Madame Jasmine:  Bwaak!

Ditto:  Well, sure, it probably better than a gruesome death at the hands of a giant green demon, that’s true…

Miss Narator:  Ditto stands back and takes a Tai Chi like pose, holding his staff before him, and concentrates deeply.  He chants a long string of arcane syllables, his voice trembling as his firey power grows and expands.  The Jade Oni summons a fiendish leprechaun to pelt Ditto with hundreds of gold coins.

Ditto:  Seriously?  He’s a giant ancient demon with infinite power, and he hits me with a leprechaun?  Dat’s just sad…

Miss Narrator:  Maybe he’s just toying with you.   I mean, how many pips does he have over there, like thirty?  He’ll probably cast a –

Ditto:  Yes, and distracting me is certainly going to help…  I don’t care what he going to cast, I need to focus here…

Miss Narrator:  Oh yeah, sorry…   Ditto focuses all his strength into the new spell, bending the deepest forces of pyromancy to his will, and suddenly a bright circles of fire appear on the floor, concentric rings of burning force erupting upwards from the floor.

Ditto:  oooh, pretty!

Miss Narrator:  The Jade Oni roars in anger and fear as a figure rises from the flames, a towering mirror to the Jade Oni, but made of fire and wreathed in hot red and orange energies, brandishing a gigantic flaming sword.

Ditto:  No…. Way….  Dat is awesome!!

Miss Narrator:  The flaming helephant stomps on the ground and trumpets loudly, then slashes at the Jade Oni mightily with it’s sword.  The flood of fire energy flows through multiple traps and blades, the damage multiplying exponentially as it triggers each.  The blow lands on the Jade Oni and the great demon falls to it’s knees, grasping at the air.

Jade Oni:  No, it cannot be!  Defeated by a furry orange monster and his pet chicken?  That’s impossible!!  Nooooooo!

Ditto:  Yeah, that’s right – who’s your monster?

Miss Narrator:  As Ditto does his victory dance, the emperor of mooshu wakes up, shaking his head and stretching.  He bows to Ditto and thanks him for his service.

Ditto:  Don’t mention it – now about my order…  Me would like some chicken friend rice, and definitely crab rangoons…

Miss Narrator:  The Emperor hands Ditto a square paper box with red dragons on it, and a little metal handle.

Ditto:  Woohoo!!

Miss Narrator:  As Ditto opens the takeout box, he sees the swirling glowing energies of the spiral key that opens the door to Dragonspyre.

Ditto:  Aww…  That’s so mean!

Miss Narrator:  Their mission finally completed and the tranquility of Mooshu restored, Ditto and Madame Jasmine head back to Wizard city, spiral key in hand, ready to talk to Headmaster Ambrose and find out about the next step on their epic journey to save the spiral!

Ditto:  When you say it like that it sounds all cool and stuff…  I like it!

Miss Narrator:  Join us again next time as Ditto and Madame Jasmine face their most difficult and terrifying mission yet – next stop, Dragonspyre!!

Ditto:  Sounds less cool now…  yikes!

Miss Narrator:  Finally, thanks to all our wonderful fans and friends for the support for this fun and exciting year!

Ditto:  Yeah, it’s been great, and we look forward to another year of daring adventures, starting with scary spooky Dragonspyre and moving on to Celestia, Wintertusk, and whatever else KingsIsle throws our way!  See you next time and thank you all!!

Madame Jasmine:  Bwaak!!

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