Ditto the Monster looks at the world of family friendly online games from a Fabricated American perspective

Episode 2

Adventures of Ditto – Episode 2

The Daring Adventures of Ditto – Episode 2 which first appeared in Ravenwood Radio Episode 16!!

Narrator: Last time on the Daring Adventures of Ditto, our intrepid explorer was locked in a battle of life and death in the dreaded tombs of Krokotopia…

Ditto: Not this again…

Narrator: Blazing hot sand pouring in from above and deadly sand scorpions below, it seemed there was no possible means of escape, the fate of Ditto and his trusty sidekick Madame Jasmine was sealed

Jasmine: Bwaak!

Ditto: Can we just get on with this…

Narrator: Ditto, with a sudden flash of genius, tapped into the dark mystical powers of his ascendant staff, blasting a jet of ice cold blue energy upwards against the sand as he simultaneously covered the scorpions in the pit with a thick sheet of glacial ice!

Ditto: The ascendant staff not cast ice, it… oh never mind, that actually sounded really cool…

Narrator: Tumbling to the sand-strewn floor of the pyramid, Ditto and Madame Jasmine came face to face with Professor Winthrop, esteemed Marleybonian archaeologist, flanked by flickering torches and deep into an investigation of ancient Krokotopian hieroglyphics. His brow was furrowed –

Ditto: and furry, heh heh….

Narrator (gruffly): Yes, because he’s a dog, very clever, … His brow was furrowed with terrible concentration.

Ditto: (after a beat) What?

Narrator: Your turn

Ditto: Oh, me sorry… was getting into it… So yes, Madame Jasmine and I find Professor Winthrop at his dig site in the great pyramid of the Sun, in the Altar of the Kings – A very impressive place, with huge statues and flickering torches, our footsteps echoing on the ancient stone floor. Professor Winthrop was investigating ancient krokotpian hieroglyphics about the Krokonomicon, a very powerful magical book, and the Order of the Fang, an ancient and mysterious Krokotopian secret society – though me guess they not keep their secret so good since everybody around here seem to know all about them. So Professor Winthrop needed Ditto’s help –

Madame Jasmine: Bwaak!

Ditto: Yes, and Jasmine’s help too, don’t get cranky or me shoot you out of a cannon…

Madame Jasmine: Bwaak!

Ditto: So Professor Winthrop needed Ditto and Madame Jasmine’s help, as there was important information that the order of the fang hid on fancy obelisks across the great pyramid. The marleybonians do not use magic, and the temple was filled with servants of the dreaded Kroks, who were very dangerous. Happy to help, me and Madame Jasmine set out through the dark and dangerous Pyramid, searching the winding corridors for the Royal Hall. On the way, we met up with some poor charmed Mander slaves who were forced to do the evil Krok’s bidding…

Narrator: What now?

Ditto: Well, me got into a big fight here, me figure you would… you know…

Narrator: So you want me to actually narrate now do you?

Ditto: Well, um…. sure. Yeah, go for it.

Narrator (With renewed gusto): Bloodthisty Mander slaves, crazed with hunger, descended on our brave duo with eyes blazing with malice. Quickly surrounded, Ditto kept a cool head and drew in a deep breath, focusing his mind to build his terrifying magical powers as Madame Jasmine bellowed her most fearsome battle cry!

Jasmine: Bwaaak!

Narrator: Ditto threw fire traps out into the bloodthirsty throng, their red-orange glow visible in the dim hallway, just waiting to magnify his terrible mystical attack. He then raised the menacing red fire blade spell around him like a burning aura, sweat pouring down his brow from the heat of the spells and his fearsome concentration. Finally, with a raise of his mystical ascendant staff and a bellowing cry of the ancient words of power taught to him by the mighty professor Falmea, tongues of flame shot out of him, passing through the magnifying field of the fire blade, then crossing the floor, joining together on the pulsating fire trap, and exploding with the force of a hundred Michael Bay movies-

Ditto: Wait, exploding with WHAT?

Narrator: And forming the fire-wreathed and terrifying Sun Bird, it’s piercing cry echoing around the chamber as it attacked the horde of enslaved Manders, driving them back into the depths of the pyramid, fleeing in terror and utter defeat.

Ditto: Wow… Dat was cool.

Narrator: Thank you.

Ditto: So once we had fought our way to the Royal Hall, Madame Jasmine and I found a number of huge and ancient obelisks. We walked around and found the things that Professor Winthrop said he needed and made the rubbings, then headed back to the altar of the Kings to show him.

Narrator: When suddenly –

Ditto: No! We not attacked, nothing bloodthirsty was lurking anywhere, we just walked back to the Altar of the Kings and handed the professor the rubbings.

Narrator: But….

Ditto: No – we getting to another good part but it not here yet…

Narrator (pouting): Oh OK

Ditto: Professor Winthrop was pretty impressed and as a reward for our hard work… he sent us to get one last bit of information from a terrifying Nirini temple guardian. Which of course meant yet another epic battle… OK, your turn now…

Narrator: As Ditto and Madame Jasmine entered the lair of the Nirini guardian they were confronted by two hulking ice spiders –

Ditto: No! No Ice Spiders – dis only five minute episode, fight with the Ice spiders take like a week.

Madame Jasmine – Bwaak!

Narrator: Ok, well, after Ditto and Madame Jasmine handily defeat the dreaded ice spiders they head deeper into the Royal Hall to fight the menacing Biti Nirini. With deadly magical skill, Ditto hurls spell after spell at Biti Nirini and his henchman while digging deep into his mystical reserves to shield himself – and Madame Jasmine – from their relentless assault. Ditto blasts away, inch by inch, firing tongues of flame and ice at his opponents, but Biti Nrini is far more skilled than our hero imagined, dodging spells as fast as Ditto can throw them. With his goal just inches away, will Ditto be bested by the evil Krokotopian mage? Will Ditto and Madame Jasmine make it out of the dreaded Royal Hall alive? Probably not

Ditto: What??

Narrator: Tune in next time for the next exciting episode of ‘The Daring Adventures of Ditto!’

Ditto: Oh come on, at least tell dem I OK… Really, Me gonna be OK, right?

Madame Jasmine: Bwaak!

One response

  1. LOL i love theese!

    April 7, 2011 at 7:20 am

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